Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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