finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
