just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I cut my penus on the lid.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
