Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
