the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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