dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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