If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
