She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
