don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
