talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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