Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I cut my penus on the lid.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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