This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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