It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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