I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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