She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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