wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
