I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
