She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
