He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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