There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
