ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Are my feet made of real feet?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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