I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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