i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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