The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
