Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
