Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
im on a boat
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