Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
