I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
