this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
