So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
