did you get engaged???
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
