who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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