Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
