I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
