I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
