so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
