i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
