do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
How naked do you want me to be?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
