remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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