i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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