I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
