yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
