I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
