You work out of a Hotel?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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