The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
