i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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