But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
