the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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