Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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