i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
